Is The Human Race Made to Be Monogamous?

It all probably started with Adam and Eve – throughout history we got taught that every woman belongs to one man. Monogamy from birth until death, is that really what we are made for? No, say researchers who now proved wrong what the world believed for decades. They examined monogamy among animals and found out, that chimpanzees, our closest relatives, are everything else but monogamous. During pairing season a female chimpanzee makes love to all male apes in her tribe, more than 80 times in 8 days. According to the researchers, only 3% of all mammals are actually monogamous. Another example for this are birds: until now, scientists believed that 90% of all birds are meant to be monogamous, but they found that almost 50% of all female birds cheat on their partners. 

And anthropologists confirm that men aren’t made for monogamy either, nor for only one form of relationship. The wish to stay with only one partner “until death do us part” lies in the eye of the beholder. Some people carry the necessity in them to stay true and committed to only one partner, but others feel that they would actually be happier if they were free to swap partners. And what some might criticize as a hippy lifestyle is a haven for others. And that is not deciding for one partner but live the concept of free love and share feelings and physical attention with plenty of people.  

Apart from monogamy there many forms of relationships. Abstinence before marriage, where people wait until they are married to have sex (this relates mostly to religious people); polygamous relationships where people have more than only one partner; distant relationships where partners don’t live together; homosexual relationships; bisexual relationships; or open relationships, where a man a woman (or two men or two women) are a couple and committed to each other but allow the mutual freedom to go out with other people as well. 

Monogamy is a complex matter and everyone including legal representatives, scientists, anthropologists, Christians and other religions have different opinions about it. One group says monogamy is illegal, others say it’s impossible, or possible, or biological or genetic or …. It’s a never-ending debate that doesn’t lead anywhere. Since the beginning of time until the end of human race it will go on like that and no conclusion or agreement will be found. 

What the individual longs for is something only he or she knows. We are lucky to be part of a generation where a free choice is less problematic than ever before. We are free to choose how we want to live and with how many partners. The only problem is, we have to find people who share our views and desires. Otherwise we might hurt people who love us because they get jealous or simply don’t agree on our lifestyle.